The semester is officially over (save the grading . . .), and I survived more than a half-dozen IP and technology and other law conferences this Spring, including one that I helped to host, at Pitt. I’ve been struggling to synthesize my thoughts about all of this. Finding a few peaceful moments has been difficult, what with the volume control on the IP Rhetoric channel being set at “11” for the last few months. At last, some calm.

There have been good conferences and great conferences. What separates the wheat from the chaff? Two things:

One: Is the Word good? People of faith may recognize the question. When one person asks another about a service that was missed, the question is: How was the Word? The Word was good. So at law conferences, set aside the histrionics and the slides (please, set aside the slides). Don’t recite from a prepared text, and don’t draw funny lines on transparencies. I like conferences where the speakers treat both the text and the audience with respect — that is, they engage in a conversation, even if the audience isn’t speaking, and where the presentations get me thinking about the world in some way that I didn’t think about the world before.

Two: Is the food memorable? Not just good; memorable. I remember conferences, years later, for the meals. When I was planning the Pitt conference earlier this Spring, it sure felt like I was planning a wedding. (My wedding, many years ago, was remembered long afterward for its killer chocolate-on-chocolate cake, from the Prolific Oven, in Palo Alto.) There may be memorable restaurant meals for the speakers. There may be memorable meals at the homes of faculty members and Deans. There may be memorable snack breaks. If you’re planning a conference, you can skimp on party favors and certain creature comforts, and in the long run no one will care. But don’t skimp on the food.