Where “C” and “D” Are Chords Instead

As reported originally here in Texas Monthly, and most recently here by the TM Daily Post, Robert Earl Keen has taken a creative approach to settling a score (not a lawsuit) with Toby Keith.  (Additional interviews with Keen here and here.)

In an interview with Texas Monthly, Robert Earl Keen discussed the release of his new album, which contains a song called “The Road Goes On and On.”  Apparently, the melody in Toby Keith’s song “Bullets in the Gun” sounds remarkably like Robert Earl Keen’s well-known song “The Road Goes On Forever.”  But instead of suing Keith, Robert Earl Keen decided to approach the situation differently: “[I]nstead of getting really ugly about things — I don’t really believe in lawsuits or threats — I took the Alexander Pope road and answered this guy in song.”

The song is called “The Road Goes On and On.”  While it doesn’t name Toby Keith explicitly, Keen acknowledges that the song is about him, and the song describes Keith in a variety of ways, including, as a “goldilocks . . . all duded up in [his] Cowboy Crocs singing the same old song.”  (Does Keen mean crocodile-skin boots, or the popular Crocs-brand shoes?  I find the latter interpretation much funnier, and I did see multiple, if random, internet references to Toby Keith wearing Crocs…)  Some of the lyrics include:

I don’t care what you say

I never liked you anyway

Wouldn’t give you the time of day

If I had the time to spend

You’re malicious and downright cruel

Superstitious, so uncool

Best wishes, you loudmouthed fool

I hope I never see you again

You’re a regular jack in the box

In your clown suit and your goldilocks

The original liar’s paradox (you’ll have to Google that)

How in the hell do you think you’ll make it

When the real test comes and you just can’t fake it

Your sycophants say they can’t take it and leave you lyin’ flat

Interesting alternative to the C&D.  Now we can wait and see if Google writes a song about how Robert Earl Keen shouldn’t use “Google” as a verb…